Guest post by Rayne Hall
Things will go wrong—that's normal.
Anticipate this, and the obstacles won't have the power to shake you.
Imagine a martial artist whose goal
is to win the regional karate championships. He's skilled, he trains, he has
the right attitude. Will his path be obstacle-free? No! Every competitor in the
contest will do the utmost to beat him to the win. Those he meets in a match
will beat him up with ferocity. Only a
fool would expect the other contestants to surrender so he can win.
On top of that, life is going to
add further hindrances. His regular trainer isn't available in the run-up to
the event. On the big day, he wakes with a headache pounding his skull. Bad
news about his father's health and worries the rent sap his mental focus. When
it's time to drive to the venue, his car won't start.
These obstacles could be reasons to
give up a goal—and many people do. Not you.
Mentally prepare yourself for
obstacles on your way. Then, when you encounter one, you can say, "Ah, the
first obstacle. What shall I do about it?"
Instead of viewing obstacles as
reasons to give up, view them as tests. A higher power (God, fate, the creative
force of the universe) has put them in your path to determine if you're worthy
of success. Welcome them, solve them, and move on.

Here's a more advanced reframing
technique, one that will do wonders for your mental strength and propel you
towards success:
View every problem as an
opportunity. This needs some thought, but gives huge rewards.
Let's say you've been made
redundant. The job you loved, the hopes you invested in this company, the
income you depended on are all gone.
It will takes mental strength to
reframe this loss as something positive. Try it! You will feel better, and
you'll emerge from this situation not as a loser but as a winner.
What opportunities are hidden in
this bad situation? Make a list, and be creative about it, including small and
practical ideas as well as drastic and daring possibilities. Start with "I
can" or if it feels more comfortable to you, "I could..."
In the case of the person who lost
their job, the opportunities list could look like this:
- I can spend more time at home
with my children until I get another job.
- I can carry out the repairs
around the house my wife has been asking me for.
- I can finally finish the novel
I've been working on for the past ten years.
- I can look for a better-paid job.
- I can explore a different career
direction.
- I can take the plunge and become
a self-employed entrepreneur, something I've long wanted to do but didn't
because I lacked the courage to leave my job.
- I can fulfil my dream to live and
work abroad.
Here's a third reframing technique
for when things go wrong: You never fail—instead, you learn valuable lessons
that will help you towards success.
Here are some examples.
"I failed."
"I haven't succeeded
yet."
"I'm a failure."
"I'm still working on my
success."
"I screwed this up."
"I've learnt a valuable lesson
how not to do this."
"I'm wasn't good enough for
this assignment."
"Now I know what skills I need
for this type of assignment."
"I'm an idiot. I let those
people scam me."
"I'm smart. I've learnt how
scammers operate. In future, I'll see through this kind of trick."
"I've lost everything."
"I'm ready to start again from
zero."
Action Point
Think of your current goal—
something set out to achieve today, or your New Year's resolution, or perhaps
the lifetime ambition you're working towards. What obstacles have you
encountered so far? Writing them down as a list, with the heading 'Obstacles To
Overcome' will help you see them for what they are, and empower you to feel in
control.
Progress Assignment
Has something bad happened to you
recently, a shock you're still still reeling from?
Write a list of at least ten
opportunities that might arise from this blow. Be aware that you may encounter
mental resistance, that inner voice telling you that what happened is so bad
nothing good can come out of it. This is a test for your mental strength. Can
you do it? If yes, you'll emerge from this assignment much, much stronger.
Strategy
Whenever you encounter obstacles
and setbacks, reframe them. View problems as opportunities, failures as
successes yet to come, and mistakes as valuable lessons learnt.
With practice, you will become good
at this, and it will give you the kind of mental strength that helps you win
through when the going gets tough.
Comments, Experiences, Questions?
Do you have example of how you
reframed a problem as an opportunity? Would you like to share a tip how to
develop grit? Share them in the comments section.
ABOUT RAYNE HALL
Thanks for featuring my post, Mark. I wonder if your followers have questions, or would like to contribute suggestions or experiences?
ReplyDeleteAs an anxiety sufferer these are principals I've used for quite some years now, they apply equally there. Taking negativity and turning it into positive thoughts works very well.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that you're using reframing to deal with anxiety. I think reframing - especially taking something negative and turning it into something positive - is a valuable skill.
DeleteThanks for sharing, Rayne.
ReplyDeleteThough I don't always make the right call, I'm glad I did in 2010 when I lost my job and then my savings, getting evicted from my apartment. Though it was an anguished time, I thought "Hey, there's nothing more keeping me in San Diego, let's hit the road and go on an adventure!" (Like The Hobbit, I was probably subconsciously thinking.) I got the adventure of my life, my Creator took care of me every step of the way, and now I'm comfortably settled in Providence, RI, happily typing for the state.
Hi Doug,
DeleteThat was a brave stance to take, and an empowering one. When something we have become accustomed to is taken away from us, it's always a chance to embark on a new venture we would not otherwise have dared. Few people take that mental leap (they prefer to mourn what they've lost instead, and do nothing) but you did, and it was worth it. Congratulations!
It's very important to have a positive attitude to things, including negative things, and all you wrote, Rayne, are very encouraging indeed!
ReplyDeleteAs for Mark, I read most of your Sinister Stitches (I'm around 89%), and I really enjoy your stories. I want to finish it off completely before adding a proper review. :-)
Having a positive attitude to negative things is empowering. Not everyone realises that it can be done. Some are too stuck in their ways to try, or think that it would be a falsehood, or impossible. But it's possible, and liberating and energising. I wish more people would give it a go.
ReplyDeleteI like to read. Thanks for the post! I also want to write a good article but I don`t know how to do it that's why I use uk essay writing services .In conclusion, I believe that nevertheless, I`ll become a good writer cuz I need your advice.
ReplyDelete